HIV & Stigma
by Zelda Gauld
Working at the practice of Dr Gail Ashford has changed me in many ways. I must confess that I knew in my head that everyone could contract the disease whether you were rich or poor, African, Indian, European, Coloured, English, Afrikaans, Zulu or Sotho, yet in my heart the connection was not yet made. My eyes have been opened on so many levels and I am grateful for that. Most of all I have been shown what the true meaning of grace is. Dr Ashford really does not judge or discriminate - maybe because of her position as a Specialist Physician, but my gut tells me she is more than just the normal doctor. She cares for her patients, go the extra mile and build relationships with them without any judgment - never discussing patients behind their backs or commenting about them. Now THAT is something rarely found in the medical field according to my opinion and past experiences.
Heading up a HIV Support Group I have been taken out of my comfort zone, challenged not to judge and accept people for who they are - We all make mistakes in different many ways - We are human - There is grace. To me in a society - that seems like it is so non-discriminatory - we still have a very long way to go, judging on the hurt, pain and loneliness my Support Group members go through. The inner struggles about disclosing and hurt of rejection when disclosing.
We have a Facebook Page that I have been trying for over a year to get 1000 "likes" on. It has been such a struggle. There must be some idea out there that if you "like" a HIV page you somehow disclose that you are positive. Stigma is the only reason I can attribute this to.
I spoke to a journalist of an Afrikaans magazine whose name I will not mention and I asked if she would be interested in doing an article on HIV and Stigma for World Aids Day on 1 December 2013. In this day and age the response I got was, that that was not a topic that was relevant to their readers or who would be interested in that. Shock and horror! At first I was standing in judgement of her, thinking to myself: Wake up and smell the roses! Then I stepped back for a moment and realised that not so long ago I was there, I knew in my head, but not my heart, that everyone could get the disease. Being Afrikaans myself, knowing how entrenched certain beliefs in our culture are, it saddens me that despite the amount of information readily available the culture still seems to live in a little cocoon of ignorance, because it is easier that way - Let's just sweep it under the carpet. Yet as a culture we do a lot of charitable work, caring for others, being loving, caring. The same can be said for other cultures - Indian, Coloured, European. Please understand I am not knocking my own culture down, I am simply advocating for openness, for facing this disease head-on. Ignorance is the cause of spreading this disease. I can only imagine that this ignorance stems from pure fear that this would be possible. Why can we do so much charitable, loving work in certain cases and in others simply reject.
We are all human.
We all want acceptance.
We all want others to be able to hear us.
The concept of grace has been shown to me in such a beautiful way with so many women phoning in, telling us their gynaecologist just told them they were positive, possibly contracted through their partners or previous sexual partners, with the possibility of have given it to their current partners already. They come in together, they walk the road together, they do what they have to do to ensure that the disease does not transfer to their babies - For me that is tangible love and grace.
The reason I am writing this is because I so strongly feel that we can throw around as many red ribbons as we want, if we don't make a heart connection with this disease it will continue spreading while people are desperately holding their breaths for a cure.
Let US be the cure.
Let US speak out.
Let US stand together as HUMANS and address this, without discrimination.
Let US create a HIV-free generation.
It starts with YOU!